Tripe+Drisheen: A Russian woman in Cork reflects on war between two countries she loves
"I think it is very important to say that it was not the people of Russia who started the war! That we are also against it!"
Anna* is a student from Russia studying and living in Cork. Over a few days this week I chatted with her by phone, text and email and the main point of our conversation was the war in Ukraine, which has now entered its second week. Ukraine’s State Emergency Service has said that more than 2,000 civilians have died, though this claim is impossible to verify. Russia said that nearly 500 of its soldiers have been killed, and the U.N. reports that more than one million people have fled Ukraine since last week.
War is a million stories. It’s complex and simple. There’s the aggressor and the victim. Vladimir Putin, Russia’s President, has signalled for years that he had grand designs for Ukraine, a sovereign independent country, but until he actually gave the orders that sent troops across the border and into Ukraine, most of us thought that a major war in Europe was impossible.
Anna has been watching events unfold with a mix of shock, horror, anxiety and guilt. She requested anonymity for this interview as speaking out publicly against the war could have repercussions for her in the future.
Did you think Vladimir Putin would actually send the Russian army into Ukraine?
No, I didn't think so. I was sure that this was a show, another empty threat to the Ukrainian allies, attempts to intimidate. There have been terrible bloody wars in the modern history of Russia. During the Second World War, more than eight million soldiers and 13 million civilians died. In every family, someone died. Every family honours the memory of that war. Since childhood, I have heard the stories of my grandparents that there is nothing worse than war. Then there was the war in Afghanistan, my cousin was a soldier in it, the war in the Chechen Republic (one of the regions of Russia). Hatred of war is in the genes of ordinary Russian people. One of the main arguments of propagandists has always been that Putin will not allow war. Many people believed this and were ready to justify any crimes in exchange for peace.
When Putin announced the recognition of the independence of the Donetsk and Lugansk republics, it became clear even then that he was planning to start a war. We thought that he would bring troops into the occupied territories. No one could have imagined that he would start bombing Kyiv, Kharkiv, and other Ukrainian cities.
How did you feel last week when you saw and heard the news that war had started?
I saw Putin’s TV appeal live. At the same time, the first reports of explosions in Kyiv and Odessa began to arrive. This is such terrible information that the brain refuses to fully realise that it is true. The first night I didn't sleep at all. It's such a terrible mixture of feelings - pain, shame, fear, bitterness, guilt, despair. My most beloved country, my homeland, with the kindest and most sympathetic people attacked the closest and most native country for Russians.
Every Russian has family and friends in Ukraine. Our countries have been feuding with each other for eight years. But I couldn't even have dreamed in a terrible dream that something like this would happen. On the first day, I was scared and ashamed to leave the house and look people in the eye. Now I constantly read the news, which of course does not help to fight anxiety at all.
Have you been in contact with your family back in Russia? How are they doing? What do they think about the war?
All my friends and family have similar feelings. In the first days, we called each other and asked how to move on after everything that happened?
My friends come out to protest in Russia, some have already been arrested and have paid a fine or are serving a sentence of 10-15 days in prison. We have been fighting the regime for many years, protesting, supporting the opposition. It's getting more and more dangerous every time. At peaceful protests, people are beaten with police batons, arrested, held in police buses for 5-8 hours, without access to fresh air, the opportunity to go to the toilet. To sit and relax, people change places, because there are not enough seats on the bus for everyone. Therefore, each time fewer and fewer people are protesting against Putin's regime.
Do you think the news that you are getting here in Ireland about the war is different to what your family in Russia are getting? Are you worried that people in Russia are not getting all the information about the war in Ukraine?
Honestly, I don't read the Irish media right now. It turned out to be quite morally difficult to read in English that my country attacked a neighbouring state. I get all the information from independent Russian media and Ukrainian media.
Russia is a huge country. Most people in large cities do not watch or read state media (not all, unfortunately). We have wonderful independent publications that the government is actively fighting against. As well as friends and relatives in Ukraine who tell about real events. We actively use Instagram, Telegram, Facebook.
But in small towns and villages, everything is different. Almost 40 million Russian citizens do not have internet access. Millions of people live below the poverty line, there is no electricity or mobile communication in many localities. In such places, people often have no education and a good job, no one has taught them to think critically. People don't think about politics, they only think about survival. They don't care anymore. Some people in Russia turn on the TV every evening and watch the news, where they are told that everyone around the world hates Russians and dreams of destroying them, that Russians are being persecuted and humiliated.
That everything in the "west" (I mean Europe and the United States) is very bad, children are forcibly taken from ordinary families and given to LGBT+ persons, and other nonsense. And at the same time, they tell us what a great and powerful country we have, we live the best and we will beat everyone. Do not underestimate the talent of Russian propagandists. They have been successfully doing their work for 20 years. People who have never been abroad, and even in large cities of Russia believe them. And I can't blame them. Each of us wants to be proud of our country and not everyone has the moral strength to endure that there is nothing to be proud of. But still, millions and millions of people know the truth and do not believe lies. Absolutely all Russian influencers on my Instagram openly oppose the war. They are putting themselves at great risk, but they cannot remain silent. I also know that there are government-paid advertisements in support of the war on TikTok and Instagram. Most likely, the people who make these advertisements do not support Putin and the war, they just earn money. It's disgusting and it will always remain on their conscience.
My grandfather is 92 years old, he was in World War II when he was a teenager. He does not know how to use the internet and watches only state channels on TV, where they do not call what is happening a war, but call it a peacekeeping operation (now they are sentenced to 15 years in prison for calling the war a "war" in the media or social networks). But he understands that everything he sees on TV is lies and propaganda. When the war started, he called my mom and said: “What have they done? They started a war!”
Is it possible to get news in Russia about the war in Ukraine from social media channels such as TikTok, Telegram and Viber?
My generation (people 25-35 years old) is much freer and critically thinking. We have learned how to find, check and evaluate information on our own.
Have you felt any discrimination here in Cork since the war started? As one Russian woman living in Cork told me, people must realise that Russia is a huge country and Putin's decision to go to war does not represent everybody in Russia.
I have not faced discrimination in Cork and I hope I will not. I get a lot of support from my friends and teachers in Cork. I also communicated with the Ukrainian diaspora and they were very friendly to me. Definitely, it was Putin's decision. Even in the Russian government, some people are against the war. I think that the overwhelming majority is against the war, even if they support Putin's policy for some reason. There are very few openly supporting the war. These are either criminals who are in power or people whose adequacy I very much doubt. It scares me more, some people in Russia don't care. They believe that this war does not concern them and will not affect them. Over the past 30 years, everyone is tired of fighting and tired of surviving... Many people don't even care what happens anymore. But I do not justify these people and I will never support such a position.
Do you know any soldiers in the army?
No, I don't.
Are your family able to carry on as normal or have the sanctions affected their daily life?
So far, the impact of sanctions is not particularly noticeable in Russia. Everyone is in such shock that they are not up to the sanctions yet. My mom stocked up on some groceries and bought the necessary medicines for three months. I am sure that the sanctions will greatly affect the citizens of Russia. Absolutely everything will become more expensive, there will be big problems with air transportation, many production facilities will close, the medical system will finally decline. This is solely my opinion (I am not a political scientist, I am an engineer), but I am afraid that sanctions will affect the lives of ordinary people to a much greater extent than the lives of Putin and his friends the oligarchs. Food in supermarkets in Russia is more expensive than in Ireland, housing bills are only slightly less, but the average salary is now about 350-400 euros per month (at the exchange rate for today). And my mother's pension is only 147 euros per month. People in Russia are hostages of the situation as well. A lot of young educated people have tried to leave Russia and start a new life in other countries, now we have practically no such opportunity.
Do you worry for people in Russia who speak out against the war and what will happen to them?
Yes, I'm worried! My friends come out to protest no matter what! One of my friends was arrested, spent the night at the police station, and paid a fine. The brother of my childhood friend is now in prison for 10 days. Those who were not arrested at the protests are often later found by CCTV and fired from their jobs, expelled from universities, intimidated by elderly relatives. To be honest, in recent years I have been afraid to go to protests in Russia, I only make donations to various organisations. I have an elderly mother and there will be no one to take care of her if I end up in prison.
Are you worried about returning to Russia especially as the sanctions which have been placed on Russia since the outbreak of the war are the most severe to date.
Yes, I'm afraid to return to Russia. I am a simple person, I want to live, continue studying, do science, buy a house and get a dog. Salaries of teachers, doctors, scientists, engineers used to be very small in Russia, and now we will hardly have enough money for food, there will be no opportunity to go on vacation, get high-quality medical care. In 2014, Russia imposed sanctions against the European Union and banned the supply of food to Russia. The quality of food in Russia has plummeted. Almost everything is now artificial, with the addition of palm oil - milk, cheese, butter, pastries. If a batch of food was tried to be transported across the border, it was confiscated and bulldozed demonstratively. This is in a country where several million people died of hunger in the last century!! In pursuit of money, no one thinks about the environment, incinerators are being built around Moscow. The number of cancer cases has increased dramatically. I am afraid that the actions of our government will be scarier than all sanctions. I know that I will not be able to remain silent, I will not be able to restrain myself, and sooner or later I will end up in prison. If you are telling the truth in Russia, you are a "terrorist and extremist". If you like or repost an opposition organisation or a person on social networks, then you support "terrorists" and spread "extremist" information.
I would really like to live and work in my country, near my family, friends, and speak Russian. While I am studying in Ireland, and I will continue my studies.
How was your life in Cork before the war broke out? Do you worry now if you meet people and they ask where you are from they might say something negative or racist?
My life in Cork has not changed. I still study and work, go to the pub with my friends. However, all this is accompanied by a background sense of guilt for their country. I really love Ireland and Cork. People, climate, nature! I was very afraid that my visa would be cancelled. Of course, subconsciously I'm afraid to say that I'm Russian, I'm afraid of people's reactions. But I do not hide that I am Russian and I will never hide it. I love my country too much (country, not state and government). I think it is very important to say that it was not the people of Russia who started the war! That we are also against it! I talk about it on my social networks and that's why I agreed to this interview.
Have you ever been to Ukraine? Do you have any message you want to share for Ukrainian people in Cork who might read this article?
Yes, I was in Ukraine. It’s an amazing country with beautiful nature, sincere people and very tasty food. I don't think that my apologies and excuses can help the Ukrainian people in any way now. I will do what I can - collect humanitarian aid for people in Ukraine and share information on my social networks. I am also ready to provide any assistance to refugees from Ukraine in Ireland. I do not urge Russian citizens to do the same, in Russia these actions are equated to treason and we may face big problems on our return. But if you have the opportunity, do everything in your power to help and to stop this war. I would like to ask Ukrainians to find the strength to forgive us, the Russian people when everything is over. I know it won't be easy.
I think this is madness, this war must stop immediately! I am ashamed that we could not change anything in our country and this led to the death of thousands of people. I believe that the time will come when Russia, Ukraine, and the European Union will be reliable partners and friends. I think this is what every sane person in our countries wants. But I don't think that time will come very soon, unfortunately.
What an excellent interview, directly from the real Russian people's point of view, this shows how privileged we are to live in a democracy.
Declan O'Donoghue